첨삭 내가 듣기에도 힘이 없고 단조롭다.
단/복수 구분이 은근히 안 된다.
Intonation, word stress
I agree with the idea the advent of the computer has made people's live better.
First of all, I can get a lot of information easily BY using computer.
For example, before the computers advent, I had to go library to get my resources FOR my research.
But, nowadays, I can get easily by just one clicks.
Also, I can communicate with other others using computers.
What I mean is that, I can contact to professorS who are not in my university.
For these reasons, the advent of computer has made people's live better.